It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
