There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
