writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
