You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize