You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
