I think i peed on brittanys purse
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
