i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
