It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
