I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
