Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I touched a dick in church today
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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