he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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