I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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