so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
