Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I am available for nakedness
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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