Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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