It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
