Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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