i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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