Tell her she can't have a vagina
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
