Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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