how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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