I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
