so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
