I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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