theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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