What did we do last night that was yellow?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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