Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
