You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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