so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
