I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
