Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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