im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
