His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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