Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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