party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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