Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
