he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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