half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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