i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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