You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
