I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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