How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
