I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
