she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The feeling are messing with the penis
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
