Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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