god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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