I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
