We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
