Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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