We're like a lot better than the average bears
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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