don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
