Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
