I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
