You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
