Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
