he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
