I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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