belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
