butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
