i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize