i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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