did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
