He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
