Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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