She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
