chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
