I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
