okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
