she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
