2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
someone owes me an orgasm
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
