He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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