Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
