my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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